miracles4lyf

Hedley - Perfect

2011-01-25T21:29:00.002+08:00

More than a year ago, I said I knew how it was going to end.
Well, it is sure getting clearer and clearer.

I guess I'm just unsure of being attached. Since the start.
Still fighting with myself, whether it was the right move or not.
I envy the single, I envy the couples. I just envy all.

The guys think I'm the old type. The "dad, have a kid, sit down
with family, let's have dinner together" kind, I dont think I am.

I guess I'm the "uncle, living alone, loves kids, dies alone".

You're so damn perfect you know that. You always stay patient,
making me more "assholey" like I guess. I dont know.

I love being alone you know. Not all the time, but I'm always alone.
The colleagues, the guys... they are friends, but are they really?
I told you I'm always not here nor there, it's true.
Why else would I have a blog to talk to myself?

I guess this alone thing applies to you as well.
We don't talk that much, we don't share a lot.
We said we will, but we don't. I don't.
And so do you.

Those facebook updates, your livejournal updates.
I'd rather wish you put them into a blog where no one reads.
It hurts to know that you feel that way. And to know it along millions.

Aaah. Whatever. Bear in mind fiz,

She's perfect for you. She held herself for you.
She understood you, a lil more than others i guess. But nonetheless.
You lose her you might never get another. Never. Nata. Empty.
There's probably no one else right now.

::Like a jigsaw puzzle, when the picture's done,
we either frame it for life, or take it down and put it away::

Close your eyes.

2010-02-27T07:19:00.003+08:00

Close your eyes. Just for a moment.
And the world is against you.
I blame myself. If only you knew girl, the tireness of each day.
I blame myself. If only you knew girl, the painfulness of each lie.
I blame myself. If only you knew girl, the decisions that I make.
I blame myself. If only you knew girl, the times I had to cool off.
I blame myself. If only you knew girl, the life that I lead.
If only you knew girl, if only you knew.
I'm sorry I choose to run over staying,
it was for your own sake.
::Ran out of chances, didn't I?::
Please don't take things to heart. I know you're pretty much angry right now.
I'm just doing this to cool myself off alright. Please.

Please.

Dengar Bisikku - The Rain

2009-11-01T03:21:00.002+08:00

I now see how it all ends.
It all comes down to One coin, Two sides.
I won't mess up this time. Not with you.
::Close a chapter, Open another::

A Thousand Useless Letters

2009-08-07T11:19:00.003+08:00

I drop by from time to time.
Don't know why, but somehow I still care.
It's really really stupid, I know. A waste of time.

But some how I just feel like I'm to blame.
Maybe it's cause I had the chance to change,
But I threw it all away. At what cost? This?

It took friendship away.
It took trust away.
It took laughter away.
It took part of my life away.

So from now on, I'll have no one to blame.
And i'm sorry it has affected you babe.
::I did this to myself. Dumbass::

Fate's Cruel Trick

2009-06-28T05:13:00.003+08:00

Flowers and chocolates.
Lunch, dinner and a snack.
Movie, fireworks and a walk.
The first words being said last.
The silence when two souls just connects.

But this isn't the first time,

::And sure as hell ain't gonna be the last::

Autumn's Monologue - Autumn to Ashes

2009-06-20T07:50:00.000+08:00

Oh why can’t I be what you need?
a new improved version of me
But I’m nothing so good, no I’m nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
Of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
Where you hold me down, fold me in
Deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins

I break in two over you, oh, 
I break in two, and each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don’t see me, you don’t

Here I’m pinned between darkness and light
Bleached and blinded by these nights
Where I’m tossing and tortured till dawn
I view visions of you, then you're gone
The shock bleeds the red from my face
When I hear someone has taken my place
How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?
When all, all that I did was for you

I break in two over you, oh, 
I break in two, and each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don’t see me, you don’t (x2)

I break in two over you, oh, 
I break in two

Over you, I break in two
I will break in two, for you
Now you see me, now you don’t
Now you need me, now you don’t…


::It's okay, I like it this way::

Buried Confession

2009-05-10T09:52:00.002+08:00

You said that we could be good friends
I guess I just had to pretend,
But is that true?

What if you fall in love again
What if I can't give up the pain,
What could I say?

If only you could listen to what I'm trying to say to you
Could go either way but it's the risk I'm willing to take
I know that,
You have your own expectations,
And I my own imperfections,
But baby would kindly listen to my... confession.

These feelings that I have for you
The only thing that pulled me through,
Is getting strong...

So would you be my valentine?
Create a love that's so divine,
I guess it's time...

If only you could listen to what I'm trying to say to you
Could go either way but it's the risk I'm willing to take
I know that,
You have your own expectations,
And I my own imperfections,
But baby would kindly listen to my... confession.

::Not now, not yet::

_________________________________________

For those who're wondering (yes, Fajar KIDS especially)
NS is going okay for me.
Found out that I'll be passing out in abt 10 weeks time,
So yea, if I'm ever coming down to visit ya'll, it'll be in 10 weeks time.
Or maybe longer coz i'll have to let my hair grow first.

::5 down, 10 to go::

_________________________________________

IQ

2009-03-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

Free-IQTest.net - Quick, Accurate IQ Test

::Genius my ass::

I Can Wait Forever - Simple Plan

2009-03-05T12:05:00.002+08:00

You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn't matter
But you feel so far away
And I can't lie
But everytime I leave my heart turns grey
And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...

Cause I just can't take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait forever...

You look so beautiful today
It's like everytime I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, man, I wish that I could stay
And I can't lie, but everytime I leave my heart turns grey
And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...

Cause I just can't take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever...

I know it feels like forever
I guess thats just a price I've gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch makes it better
'Til that day there's nothing else I can do

And I just can take it
(Just can't take it)
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever
When you come my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever...

I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever...

::Believe me, I will::

Now Let's Compare

2009-01-16T01:30:00.003+08:00

"Imagine you're at your corner, staring to your opponent.
You don't stare in his eyes to taunt him.
You don't stare in his eyes to scare him.
You just... stare.

Let him be strong. Let him stare right back and smurk.
Coz' in that moment, he has left the most vulnerable part unguarded.
Not the mind. Not the body. The soul.

Onced embraced by the confidence and will to kill,
is now bathed with the worst fears of uncertainty.

And in that moment of his weakness, strike."

You Are Calculating

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.

Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.

You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.

You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.

You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.

Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.

You are willing to sacrifice your world for your sweetie.

Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.

For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

The True You Values Harmony

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out.

Who's The True You?

::If this was hard, thank God I didn't. Coz' losing you, is not an option::

Grow Old With You

2009-01-05T16:51:00.002+08:00

Look at you. All grown up.
Can't say I'm proud of ya.
Can't say I'm not too.

May it's cause you've changed,
just not the way I've always thought you would.

Screw it, no apologies this time.
No tears too.

Just a broken heart, a lost soul and a jar of love.

::You're my resolution::

Silver Lining

2008-12-25T03:20:00.001+08:00

First time's just a pretty face.
Second's the worst phase.

And third, it'll end with how the first sets out to be.

::Can it still be called karma?::

2 worlds apart

2008-11-27T00:13:00.002+08:00

"And everytime I'll be dreaming of you,
These nights won't follow through.
And everytime I'll be eyeing on you,
To stop me from missing you.
I know that we're different,
But I hope it won't matter..."

It's not the issue of apathy,
But rather the lack of empathy.

It's not the issue of need,
But rather the issue of want.

It's not issue of hurting you,
But rather the thought of losing you.

But if all else fails,
Again, I'm terribly sorry.

I want this more than anything right now.
To do the things we want to do,
To hear the words we'd thought we'll never say,
And to know that someone is never away.

::Oh dammit. It's an issue of ego::

Blind - Lifehouse

2008-11-12T10:59:00.005+08:00

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turn around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever want to leave
Maybe you could not believe it

That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go




You don't deserve it.

::But this you did::

If I Fall - Amber Pacific

2008-10-22T01:53:00.006+08:00

This is for the ones who believe their lives won't change 
Hoping that someday things will mend and be the same 
And this is for the ones who have lost it all and all that's left to gain 
Is a simple reminder that the things that were blind to slip away

How can I say 
Say I'll be okay

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause 
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own 
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on 
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on 

Now that the lines been broken 
I'm too afraid to just look back 
The pages have left an empty space 
You were all I had 
Why does it have to be this way 
These things they'll never change 
Still I'm left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause 
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own 
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on 
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on

_________________________________________

Just thought that I could make it clearer to you.

It's not whether I want to or not.
It's not about how I'm oblivious.
It has nothing to do about anyone else.

It's just... us.

Have you ever walked on a one-way street,
and realised that you are walking the wrong way?

::It was because that's where I want to be::

I won't say superficial.
Too late.

As much as we know about it,
we can't understand at all actually.
Nothing about it.

Heart will tell you what the mind sets to seek in the first place.

::Second time, still a failure::

Stuck in My Head

2008-09-11T00:51:00.002+08:00

A thousand and one reasons fly by me.
Yet I can't seem to comprehend.

A lost dream?
Or a near future?

Incomplete?
Or just plain crazy?

Two songs.
Two lyrics.

One progression.

::Too bad it's all charades::

Endless Rain - X Japan

2008-07-06T17:13:00.003+08:00

1) Wrong. You've got it all wrong. Please, shut up.

2) I don't believe in soulmates. I believe in 2 people falling in love and working hard on their relationship.

3) If I had known that it was the last time I would be seeing you...

4) It's still my fault.

5) I know you're right.

6) I would change everything, so that we would crash into each other, as strangers.

8) Read from page 1. Read your last page. And tell me that it at least meant something.

9) Counting back. 1 week. And I still blame myself.

:: Nightlight Confessions ::

Now the heat is off....

2008-05-25T01:40:00.002+08:00

Screw the "Hold it in" shit.
Screw the "Relax" shit.

Screw the "1....10" shit.
There's no way I'm swallowing shit anymore.

For you:

C'mon. You really think so?
From the times we had... haha...
I would have concluded the same thing.
But then again, all your friends told me otherwise.

The genius of it all, you see, is the word exactly, perfectly
matches the condition we have here.

I suggest you drop it too.
You've dropped once.
Another time, you might just... Break.

For you:

There has always been two sides of you.
I really don't want to, but I hate one of it.

But then again, I might just be the bigger bitch.
Oh well.

For you:

I don't know why.
But I can't stop thinking.
Ever since I saw us,
I can't stop wondering.

And worse still, it might all be my mistake.

::And lastly, for you::

I Told You So

2008-05-11T16:40:00.002+08:00

I knew it.
Curiosity killed the cat.
In this case, loved the cat.

I knew it.
It would have taken quite a while,
But it's still there isn't it?

I knew it.
No matter how hard you deny,
It has always haunted you.

I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it.

And guess what?
They wrote a song about you!

::Haha. I'm such a bitch::

Summer of '69 - Bowling For Soup

2008-05-08T20:15:00.002+08:00

I got my first real six string
Bought it at the five and dime
Played it till my fingers bled
Was the summer of '69

Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jodi got married
should've known we'd never get far

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive-in
And that's where I met you - yeah

Standin' on your mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

Oh Yeah
Back in the summer of '69
Ohoh

Yeah we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever - forever, no...
Yeah

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Anytime when I play that old six string
I think about you wonder what went wrong

Standin' on your mama's porch (that's right)
You told me that we'd last forever
Only when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life
Back in the summer of '69

____________________________________

Come to think of it,
Those were the best days of my life.

::Without you, it would have meant nothing::

Forgive me if This hurts.

2008-04-30T18:39:00.002+08:00

I still remember how you used to despise them.
Loathe them.
Smother them will such hate.
But just to know that you're just as weak.

It takes no common sense to know that it's stupid.
It's not who you are. It's not what you want.

You want to fit in.
You want to stand out.
You want to have that barrier of safety,
and yet put yourself in front of others.

When will your game of charades end?
Maybe if you stayed awake more often,
You'll actually learn something.

Yea, call me an asshole.
That's not new.

You know,
When the day comes that you're lying down,
Helpless and filled to the brim with regret,

I will be there. Right beside you.
Maybe even hold your hand.
I'll look at you, straight in the eyes,

And I'll leave.
Just like how I did before, I'll leave.
Those who remains with you,
are the ones that betrayed you.

Oh, don't worry.
They don't have conscience.
They are just as pathetic as I am.

::At least I learnt to walk away::

Melt and Smile, then Break.

2008-04-27T01:51:00.003+08:00

Hey.
It's kinda funny how I'll meet you each day.
Be it morning, afternoon, evening;
Or even during times when we wait for the bus.
But did you know that each moment is unspeakable?

You weren't here nor there.
You weren't up or down.
You're just... you.

I was never here or there.
I'm never up or down.
I'm just... pathetic.

At first glance, you made me quiver.
That was all it takes to lure my breath away.
That was all it takes to steal my lowly life.

It pounded so hard,
That the cars don't seem to move.
That the birds don't seem to sing.
And the people don't seem to talk.

A moment, embraced with nothing but desire.
To some, it may be nothing.
To others, it would mean everything.

::But to me, you're worth the sacrifice::

Trustworthy - Trust Worth Not

2008-04-16T00:03:00.002+08:00

Someone said once,
"Shit happens. Suck it up and move on."

He also added,
"Mistakes forms memories."

Basically,

1) Suck it up.
2) Forgive.
3) Learn from it.
4) Do not repeat it.
5) Forget about it.

Other than that,
Shut it.

Coz each word that comes out of you,

::Are nothing but a buzzing noise::

An excerpt

2008-04-13T02:45:00.003+08:00

If you love someone, let them go.
If they come back, they're yours.

If they don't, then you stalk them.

::Relax. Relax. Relax::

What do we have here?

2008-04-13T02:23:00.003+08:00

It felt so real. So true.
Even before you know it, Poof.

But yet, when reality strikes hard,
you begin to question why. Porqué.

Talk time?
Presence?
Show-off?
Something to fill the spaces?

Happiness?

Yea. Happiness. Such a lie.
Misery lies behind each obstacle.
Happiness is the reward for overcoming it.
Sadly, when it comes in large,
Very little can overcome it.

I've spent 16 years of my life finding out.
It took 3 years to somehow understand.
It'll take the rest of my life to regret.

::I'll never forgive you too::

And it would not have ended,
If all was meant to be true.

It would not be a lie,
If it was meant to be true.

Certainly, things would be better,
If none of these were true.

::Blind, Deaf and now Mute::

Rules of the Game

2008-04-12T00:10:00.002+08:00

This is what I learnt from my 3 hr session with my psychiatrist.

1) Shit happens. Deal with it.
2) You gain some, you lose some.
3) Confidence and high self-esteem is the key to achieving all in life.
4) Erh... Whatever.
5) Right back at you.
6) Take your time. Take your time.
7) It takes two hands to clap. It takes one hand to slap.
8) Be yourself.
9) Talk more.
10) Fuck what they think.

::And we all end up as losers::

Let's keep things in Check

2008-04-11T00:00:00.003+08:00

1) At what age do you wish to marry?
Anytime I finish my Uni (if I get) and have a stable job.
Should be around 27-30.

2)What i want the most now?
The medals for Saturday's competition.

3) Who is the person you trust the most?
No one in particular. If you trust a person too much, you might never know
when you'll get bitten in the ass.

4) Do you think you have enough confidence?
Since the question does not state what, I'll just shit my way through.

Confidence in studies: Low.
Confidence in friends: Neutral.
Confidence in CCA: Neutral - High
Confidence in self: Not sure really.
Confidence in love: Haha. Yea right.

5) If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
The day that I have the guts to actually do it.
Either that or the dream of finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

6) Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?
The question makes it sound like rainbows are magical.

7) What are you afraid to lose the most now?
My handphone. After not using it for half a day, I realise I can't live without it.
And ouh... you.

8) Do you believe in eternity love?
If a love for someone is pure enough, yes. But that's in the movies.
In real life, if it happens.... Oh wait. It doesn't.

9) If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Being a guy, there's this stupid rule that I have to.
If I have to confess, it'll be from playing truth or dare.
Other than that, it'll not be known until the girl confesses to me.

YES. The girl confess. There are reasons why.

10) List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
She's fun to talk too.
She's helpful all the time.
And she trusts her friends. Yes. You do.

11) What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
No matter what they say, looks ALWAYS matters. Yes people, ALWAYS.
The "looks does not matter" is just shit that people made up.
Just to make themselves LOOK GOOD.
SEE! Looks does matter. It's just whether it's small or large extent.

Anyway, i'll go for moderate looks, kind at heart, bold and most importantly,
she has to agree that it is okay if we have conflicting ideas or theories.
And she'll love to share and debate, but no hard feelings whatsoever.

Usually couples break up with the reason that they have little in common.
If we need to be in common, might as well I date myself.

12) What type of person do you hate most?
Those who whine about how bad their life is all the time.
If people do it at times, it is okay.

But if you do stupid stuff just because life sucks,
Well, you are being a big dumbass.
That's not being sensitive or showing your dark side.
That's just trying to attract attention and being a punkass jerk.

Haha.

13) Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Define friendship.

14) Do you believe in God?
Without a doubt in my heart.

15) What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Right now, it's my bed. Other than that, it'll have to be health.
My friend's, family's or acquaintance's.

Nothing is worse than seeing someone you know fighting for his/her life,
and all you can do is stand and pray, not knowing if he/she will ever make it.

16) Do you find it is a need for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Sometimes there are things that you wanna talk about,
but not with your friends (guys).
Coz they'll tend to make stupid comments.

So yea, it'll be nice to have one.
But a relationship should lessen someone's burden, not increase.

17) At this point of time, would you rather be a heart breaker or a heartbroken?
I'll be the one who mends the broken hearts of others.

18) What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friend's eyes?
Someone different and someone who at least taught
them something valuable that can be used in life.

19) Describe the person who tagged you in 6 words.
She loves to listen very attentively.

20) The place you want to go the most with your loved ones?
Some place where time doesn't matter, and stress is non-existant.

Tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post.
I don't have 8, so just the people who goes to my blog.

Nad the Psychic Catwoman.
Azrul.
Liang Ting.
Faat.
Fad. (I don't know if you're here)
Eadelin.

You.
And lastly you too.

::Mad Red with Fury::

Jemais Vu

2008-04-01T23:58:00.003+08:00

You do know that I chose this life right?
You do know that I'm contented right?
You do know that I'm not sad right?

::You do know that you're wrong right?::

You do know that I won't say no right?
You do know that I'm waiting right?
You do know that I'm happy right?

::You do know you're the one right?::

You do know it's been ages right?
You do know that it's just your mindset right?

You do know that when you grow up,
all this shit is gonna come back to you,
and you're gonna cry and regret just like how you did before,

right?

::Yes. I know::

Translate This For Me

2008-03-22T01:01:00.003+08:00

If one person says you're wrong,
She may be wrong.

If two person says you're wrong
Hey, they could be biased against you.

If three people says you're wrong,
May be they don't know you so well.

But when a freaking group says you're wrong,
It IS YOU. Not them. You. Yes, You.

And ouh, you have more... friends...than I do.
That makes it significant now, doesn't it?
Ruining my life should not be your number 1 anymore.

Anw, it doesn't matter.
You'll listen to them anyway.
I'm just a slightly faded memory.

Like most men say,
It's not you. It's just me.

::No, wait... IT IS YOU::

Jerk off... F-Face

2008-03-22T00:57:00.002+08:00

As much as it kills me to say this,
I told you so.

As much as it pains you,
I told you so.

As much as it disappoints you,
I told you so.

And really,
That wasn't me.
But hey,

::I TOLD YOU SO::

She Left Me - McFly

2008-03-19T20:54:00.002+08:00

She walked in and said she didn't wanna no anymore
Before I could ask why she was gone out the door
And I didn't know
What I did wrong
But now I just can't move on

Since she left me, she told me
Don't worry, you'll be ok you don't need me
Believe me you'll be fine
Then I knew what she meant, and its not what she said
Now I can't believe that she's gone

I tried callin' her up on her phone, no one's there
Well I've left messages after the tone
I didn't know,
What I did wrong
But now I just can’t move on, yeah yeah yeah

Since she left me, she told me
Don't worry, you'll be ok, you don’t need me
Believe me you’ll be fine
Then I knew what she meant, and it’s not what she said
Now I can't believe she's gone

Well since she left me, she told me
Don't you worry, you'll be ok, you don't need me
No, believe me you'll be fine
Then I knew what she meant, and it's not what she said
Now I, can't believe that she's gone

___________________________________

I just can't stop screwing up.
Maybe it's retribution.

::Maybe, it's you::

Love is an expression of lies and illusion

2008-03-17T00:57:00.003+08:00

Love: A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

Expression: The act of expressing or setting forth in words

Lies: Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression

Illusion: Something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality

My humble apologies.

::It's already filled::

Tough Love

2008-03-10T13:32:00.000+08:00

All it takes is a true love's kiss.

::And a happily ever after::

To All those who suffered in Silence

2008-03-06T22:20:00.003+08:00

Little did he know,
That the sun will never shine,
That the rain will never fall,
That the birds will never sing,
And the words will never rhyme.

Coz when he cries,
The world ignores.
And he is left in bitter silence.

Until the pain is swept from his body.

::Poor, poor child::

Fuck Exams

2008-03-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

Exams are coming.
Econs...

::I Hate You::

Coming Too Close - No Use For A Name

2008-02-24T01:43:00.004+08:00

There was a time when you would come and go
Now theres no time left to react
Just as it starts to heal in comes a bitter end
Well you were already to leave my side and then...

You're coming too close and I can't pretend
That I'll pick you up or let you come in again
We've been through this before, so please understand
That nothing in this heart can save you from the pain you seek
If you pick up the phone please don't call on me

No one can save you from the undertow
Nobody can blame us for the past
Just as I started thinking "Everything's alright"
You showed us surely that the tenth time was your last

You're coming too close and I can't pretend
That I'll pick you up or let you come in again
We've been through this before, so please understand
That nothing in this heart can save you from the pain you seek
If you pick up the phone please don't call on me

Yesterday I saw you falling to the ground
Seems like things get worse when no one is around
It's not okay

You're coming too close and I can't pretend
That I'll pick you up or let you come in again
We've been through this before, so please understand
That nothing in this heart can save you from the pain you seek
If you pick up the phone please dont call on me

___________________________________________

I can help you when you need it,
I can hold you when you are afraid,
I can catch you if you fall,
I can lend you my shoulder to cry on.

But I can't.

::Don't fall in love with me::

Stranger Than Fiction

2008-02-03T17:48:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair,
in routine and constancy,
in hopelessness and tragedy,
we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies.

And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies,
we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin,
or a kind and loving gesture,
or subtle encouragement,
or a loving embrace,
or an offer of comfort,

Not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs,
an uneaten Danish,
soft-spoken secrets,
and Fender Stratocasters,
and maybe the occasional piece of fiction.

And we must remember that all these things,
the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties,
which we assume only accessorize our days,
are effective for a much larger and nobler cause.

They are here to save our lives.
I know the idea seems strange,
but I also know that it just so happens to be true.
And, so it was, a wristwatch saved Harold Crick.

::Coincidences?::

HeadButt Reunion

2008-01-31T20:28:00.000+08:00

Well, tues we had a funny session.
Took vids and all. Quality.... Hmm...
Up to ya'll to enjoy.
I somehow cannot put it up here.
If you wanna watch... haha, open the links in a new tab/window.

As intro:
Fadhil (At the back) - Drums
Hafiz [Yes, his name is Hafiz too] (Brown Top, Jeans) - Vocals
Zaim (Long Hair) - Guitars
Adilin (Uniform-ed) - Bass

TBS Cover

This is a cover of You're So Last Summer by Taking Back Sunday.
Pardon the voices. After screaming 3 times, it kinda hurts.
I think the most "decent" vid we had the whole night.

XPDC Cover

A cover of a malay oldie song, Apa Nak Dikata by XPDC.
All tried to act geeky.
Zaim - Guitar up high. Me - Tucked in high. Adilin - Button up high.
But the very last part was cool.

- At 0:45 to 0:50 looks funny.
- At 4:22 onwards, Adilin's movement is SO WRONG. Basically throughout the whole song is wrong ah, but at that time was worse.
- 5:15 onwards, movements weren't plan. But turned out nice.

Hafiz Forgetting Lyrics

After dancing like crazy, Hafiz screwed up.
Watch closely at Hafiz from 0:20 to 0:30.
The song is Fireworks by Plain White T's anyway.

Well, that's it.
::Brothers with Arms::

In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge

2008-01-26T00:52:00.000+08:00

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone, and
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I never knew what it was to be alone, no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting

But now I come home
And I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know
You're a part of me
And its your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of the one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I never knew what it was to be alone, no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting

But now I come home
And its not the same no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
But I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you'll be here
With me still

All you did you did with feeling
And you always found a meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

_______________________________________

In loving memory,
Kenrick Tan.
1990-2008.

::R.I.P, Friend::

Monday's Blues

2008-01-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

If love is blind,
How did we meet?

If love is everlasting,
What will we be?

If love is divine,
When will we learn?

If love is so true,
Then tell me,
Why weren't you?

::An Excerpt from the BLACKBOOK::

Damn Regret (Sincere, Not Emo)

2008-01-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

I regret for not communicating anymore.
Coz now, I'll never have that chance.

I regret for manipulating you.
Coz now I'm confused just like you.

I regret not being nice,
Coz now, I've lost it all.

I regret being a coward,
Coz now, I'm just nothing.

I regret giving you hope,
Coz now, I feel hopeless.

I regret for breaking you apart.
Coz even when you're built,
Scars from the past are still present.

I'm sorry.

::And it's all my fault::

A Typical Fairytale

2008-01-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time,

A guy thought he was smart.
So he fished slowly at the pond.

Never did he realised, he had lost his bait.
So he kept on fishing.

Another guy came by the pond,
And picked up the bait from the water.
Attached to it, was the most beautiful fish in the world.

And they lived happily ever after.

::Screw This Shit::

I wish I could

2008-01-15T16:40:00.000+08:00

Don't.
That's the last thing you'll wanna do.

It's ok to feel that way.
Everyone does.
Some a little.
Some a lot.
Nonetheless, we're in this together.

You can still have fun,
And fall back like you want to.

Coz God gave you friends.
Those who will be there when you fall.
Some may be a little early.
Some may be a little late.
None the less, we're here to support you.

As corny and dumb as it all sounds,
It's true.

::This ain't lies::

Trail of Broken Hearts - Dragonforce

2008-01-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

Here we are, far beyond the distant sky
I've seen all the world and how the story will be over
Through the snow and tainted mountains we have climbed
Now we have found the light that guides us over
Through the falling rain we've travelled far and wide
And through the blackest darkness, stars above shining bright

Through the sun and winter rain will fall
All our lives we all were waiting for a sign to call
We're walking hand in hand in dreams of endless time
How do we know when we will leave this life behind?

Stare at life through eyes of mine
The hate, the fear and the pain
There's a feeling held deep inside
When life you live is in vain
(Life you live is in vain)

Fly away down the lonely roads of yesterday
We close our eyes to see the light of brighter days
And all alone we'll be where time can never heal
With the trail of broken hearts flying free

Once again we walk this lonely road
There are times that we were wading through the rain and cold
We're lost in memories of what we left behind
Relive the dreams, the endless screams of pain inside

Lives are filled with emptiness
The fear returns once again
Searching endlessly, now we will see
Drown your mind in the pain
(Drown your mind in the pain)

Fly away down the lonely roads of yesterday
We close our eyes to see the light of brighter days
And all alone we'll be where time can never heal
With the trail of broken hearts flying free

The last temptation will be all that's left for me
When I see those tears you cry
When I hear those lies you lie
When I feel all creation now falling down on me
Is this the reason to be?

Fly away down the lonely roads of yesterday
We close our eyes to see the light of brighter days
And all alone we'll be where time can never heal
With the trail of broken hearts flying free...
The trail of broken hearts flying free

_______________________________

But I'll tear mine out, and give it to you.
But In the even where some asshole breaks it, your's will be safe.
But I don't want to either.
But someone has to lighten the mood.

::No Buts::

Life's Funny That Way

2008-01-06T21:19:00.000+08:00

I need to do my homework,
But I got no idea how to do any of them.
But the teacher's gonna scold me anyway.
Well, life's funny that way.

How unfair can it be?
Almost a year.
Yet, not even the slightest light.
And some others have already begun to embrace it.
Well, life's funny that way.

::The Last Laugh::

The Rose - LeAnn Rimes (Bette Midler Cover)

2008-01-03T22:42:00.000+08:00

If you feel that I am dedicating this post to you,
For various reasons that only we know,
Watch the video alright?

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love
In the spring
Becomes the rose

__________________________________

::Need I Say More?::

New Year

2008-01-01T02:41:00.000+08:00

Not exactly the best plan.

Supposed to meet at 6, met at 6.30.
Went to LJS to eat.
Then waited for bus at wrong bus stop.
Crossed over. Took the bus.
Dropped at wrong station.
Went walking ard the boring shopping centre.
Came across an interesting shop.
Went to buy food.
Then took MRT to Sengkang.
Sat for ard 20 mins.
Finally find out where to go.
Headed there, it was a disappointment.
Waited for transport, played games.
Enjoyed breeze at back of truck.
Went to Ead's house.
Countdown.
Played with fireworks.
Played at playground.
Played at "Time Travel".
Went home.

That's a long one.
But what made it worth it was that
I spent the time with pple I enjoy being with.

New Year's Resolutions:

1) Screw Jeff (You asked for it)
2) Take A' Levels with NO REGRETS.
3) Make up for past mistake.
4) Smile.
5) Try to lie as little as possible.

And hey, search deep inside you.
The answer lies withing the smile.

::Happy New Year::

The Boy Who Couldn't Cry

2007-12-25T02:04:00.000+08:00

Its kinda boring now.
Maybe school's gonna make things livelier.
Currently my only highlights are CC.

::Get a life.::

How'd ya think I was able to hold?
15 years of shit really does help.
Maybe you should try it.

::Merry Chrismas::

Lucky 13

2007-12-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

Freaking headache.
Freaking guilt.
Freaking boredom.
Freaking problems.
Freaking embarrassment.
Freaking money.
Freaking computer.
Freaking virus.
Freaking game.

::Freak Lah::

Behind The Scenes - Headbutt Reunion

2007-12-13T22:02:00.000+08:00

Behind the scenes, we used to talk,
About the distance we had walked,
About the things that we had done,
About the jokes we thought was fun.

The laughter we share,
The tears we shed,
The moments we spare,
The live we had,
Reminiscing through the darkest days,
Looking back at the painful ways...

And I, Feel like soaring high with you,
And I, Feel like the darkest skies are blue...
Each day we met,The wishes we had,
I dreamt it all was true,
And I, Just wanna spend my life, With you.

Behind the scenes, we used to fight,
About our conversations at night,
About the hatred in our heart,
About the things that sets us apart.

The times we cared,
The times we cried,
The times we regret,
The times we lied,
Reminiscing throught the darkest days,
Looking back at the painful ways...

And I,Feel like soaring high with you,
And I,Feel like the darkest skies are blue...
Each day we met,The wishes we had,
I dreamt it all was true,
And I,Just wanna spend my life...

And I, Feel like soaring high with you,
And I, Feel like the darkest skies are blue...
Each day we met,The wishes we had,
I dreamt it all was true,
And I, Just wanna spend my life...

And I, Feel like the world has stopped for you
And I, Feel like my mind has put me through
The promises we had,
From times when we first met,
I know that it all was true,
And I, Just wanna spend my life, With you.

::You know I Love You::

Decisions

2007-12-08T13:12:00.000+08:00

After 17 years of living,
I now realised why I hate shopping.
It kills you.

Anw, been around lately to find something for my mortal.
Yea, the angel and mortal game.
Too bad for my mortal, I'm not a present kinda guy.
So I'm stumped. Let's just pray.

_________________________________

When you stand there,
Trying to keep still,
No matter how much you try, you will start shaking.
Rocking back and forth, with your mind focused.

Sometimes, the focus fades away, and the ritual is broken.
If it doesn't, you still try relax but also control all muscles,
As no sudden moves are allowed.

Slowly, you start to decide.
When to pull the trigger,
Is it now? No?

Wait. You are now jerking.
Start over. Decide. Slowly.
When you feel the time is right,
You slowly start to pull the trigger.

You are tired. 2 options.
Put down the gun and relax,
Or carry on and try.
You decided to carry on.

Then at the last millisecond, you jerk.
Too late. The shot has been fired.
What is meant to be a bullseye, is now a disappointment.

And you regret deciding not putting down the gun to relax,
You regret choosing that second to shoot.

Decisions in life are not easy. Even for the little stuff.
But in life, there's more shots than one.

::If you miss one, try again::

Gilmore Girls

2007-12-03T22:03:00.000+08:00

Life is kinda boring.
When all you do is just train.
So, here's a few up's besides shooting.

Had bbq at Mao's place yest.
Even though the food could have been better,
The company was indeed wonderful.
Had a great time,
chatting, walking by the pool, sitting by the pond,
card games, catching, blind cat. And other things.

Today, went to Pasir Ris Sec.
New sch. Looks ok to me.
A lil cramped than before I think.
Anw, helped out with the campcraft team.
Boy, hell a lot still has to be done.

Anw, Nad, the psychic catwoman,
has hooked my up to Gilmore Girls (Laugh at this Nad).
So, less blogging, more watching.

::What a life::

A Week

2007-11-29T13:57:00.000+08:00

Well, one week has passed.
A lot of things had come and go.

Friends are sometimes not who you think they are.
They might just cling on to you because of something.
When you're there, they try to put on a listening ear,
But when you're gone, they just disappear.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.

::Yeah Right::

Day by day, I'm not getting any younger.
And, God forbid, if anything happens to me,
I want to know that you can live on.
Forgive me if you will, Forget me if you must

::Hell Yeah::

I'm too old for this shit.

Day Out

2007-11-22T01:14:00.000+08:00

Morning training. The usual.
Rounds. Rifle and Pistol.
No wonder I'm in Rifle.
I suck at pistol. Totally hopeless.

Anyways, I need to get a job.
The enrichment course costs $400.
That's a lot. I got only $150 in my edusave.
If there's anyone who knws a job opening, tell me aite.

So, after training me, vic, adi, jeff, kiku and ead hang out.
To lazy to type the details.

The highlight was photo taking at D'Marquee.
After dinner, adi left and the rest of us hang out there.
Realised we can make a silhouette, we took photos.
Lots of them. Here are some.

Two of the early crap photo.

Same position, sitting down. But we decided to pose more.

Supposedly superhero post. Try to figure out okay?

L.O.V.E

If ya'll can figure out the word.....

Supermodel pose.

"Band" Pose

Hot Shot Pose

Goddess Pose

Umm... It's not what you think.

::Just a Silhouette::

Almost - Bowling For Soup

2007-11-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

I almost got drunk at school at 14
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
Who almost went on to be miss texas
But lost to a slut with much bigger breasts
I almost dropped out to move to LA
Where I was almost famous for almost a day

And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wished u would've loved me too

I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did 5 years and then 7 more
Cuz I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
Cuz he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs
That I almost got hooked on cuz you ran away
And I wish I woulda had the nerve to ask you to stay

And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it

You kept me guessing and now I'm destined
to spend my time missing you
I almost wish you would've loved me too

Here I go thinking about all the things I could've done
I'm gonna need a forklift cuz all the baggage weighs a ton
I know we had our problems I can't remember one

I almost forgot to say something else
And if I cant fit it in I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away

And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it

You kept me guessing and now I'm destined
to spend my time missing you
And I almost had you
I almost wish you would've loved me too

======================================

Well, I guess its not meant to be for me huh?
What can I expect?

In everyway, the odds are against me.

::I almost wish you would've loved me too::

Forgive Me

2007-11-15T17:07:00.000+08:00

Results of your
Schizophrenia Screening Quiz

Please note, this quiz has limited validity.
Please interpret the below results cautiously.

You scored a total of 16

Based upon your responses to this schizophrenia screening measure, you appear to have some early signs commonly associated with schizophrenia or a schizophrenia-related disorder. Your responses are similar to others who experience early symptoms of schizophrenia or a schizophrenia-related disorder. Because no online test is 100% accurate, please be aware that this does not necessarily mean you do have schizophrenia, only that this particular quiz found sufficient evidence to suggest that you may.

You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further verification and to see if you qualify for a schizophrenia or schizophrenia-related diagnosis from a trained mental health professional as soon as possible in order to rule out a possible schizophrenia or psychotic disorder.

The most common schizophrenia disorders diagnosed are: Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective Disorder, and Schizophreniform Disorder.

S C O R I N G
If you scored...	Then...
14 & up 10 - 13 0 - 9	Early schizophrenia Possibility of early No schizophrenia

Great. Haha. That explains the "talking to myself" thing.

Results of your
How Do Others Perceive You? Quiz

You scored a total of 45

The Lively Center of Attention

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

S C O R E S

If you scored...	You may be...
61 & up	The Vain, Self-Centered Leader
51 - 60	The Natural Leader
41 - 50	The Lively Center of Attention
31 - 40	The Loyal Friend
21 - 30	The Careful Plodder
0 - 20	The Shy Worrier

I hope so.

::What a Day::

Whatever Happens

2007-11-13T07:34:00.000+08:00

Whatever happens. Hold on tight.
No point giving up at this point in life.
So many things have happened,
Yet so little has been rewarded.

But hey, it'll be alright.
Have faith, and pray on.
Who knows, things might work out.

::Keep the Smiles::

Why?

2007-11-12T07:24:00.000+08:00

Went to WWW with some classmates.
Victor, Jeffrey, Nash, Kiku, Ead, Man.
Ok ah. Not too bad.
We laughed and lots of jokes were shared.
And lots of pinches and bites were exchanged too.

Got kinda bored riding the big group slide thing.
Coz we couldn't get a nice photo.
But eventually we got one. Not that nice,
but enuff to keep the memories alive I guess.

Dinner with Zim, Ead, Vic, Man, Jeff.
Jeff left kinda soon. The four of us just talked.
From 8.30 till 9.45, procrastinating what time to leave.
Lots of things were shared that day, can only imagine.

Kinda wasted, it had to be only recently that the class bonded.
If it had been sooner, i guess it'll be so much fun.
But its better late then never right?

_____________________________________

What the heck are you doing?
Spoiling your chance?
Aren't you the least bit happy?
After all that was given to you, aren't you satisfied?
Or do you need more in life?

There no such rule in life that you cannot make it happen.
Nothing is ever achieved if the person just sits and stares.
Get ur bum off the bed and ask him out.

_____________________________________

If you are in fear, I'll hold your hands.
If you are cold, I'll wrap my arms around you.
If you are sad, I'll give my shoulder to cry on.
If you are sleepy, I'll let you sleep on my lap.

But I won't be there if the world were to fall.
Coz' it's not my duty. It never was.

_____________________________________

Control over me can never last long.
Earn my respect, and I'll respect you.
I'm no longer a kid alright, I know what's best for me.

For 17 years I've learnt to swallow every shit.
So don't tell me I haven't tasted it.

::Memories Will Last A Lifetime::
::If you drop the coin, you'll lose it::
::Friends Forever. Fullstop::
::Here are the keys::

Love Life Live

2007-11-10T15:07:00.000+08:00

Love.
Definition: Unknown.

Relationship.
Definition: A bond between 2 people which consists of smiles and tears.

Friends.
Definition: A person who stands by you, and guide you through.

Family.
Definition: People who are there for you, whether you want to or not.

::Read between the lines::

Angel - Shaggy Feat. Rayvon

2007-11-07T20:55:00.000+08:00

Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby
Shorty, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need, lady

Life is one big party when you're still young
But who's gonna have your back when it's all done
It's all good when you're little, you have pure fun
Can't be a fool, son, what about the long run
Looking back Shorty always mention
Said me not giving her much attention
She was there through my incarceration
I wanna show the nation my appreciation

Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby
Shorty, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need, lady

You're a queen and so you should be treated
Though you never get the lovin' that you needed
Could have left, but I called and you heeded
Begged and I pleaded, mission completed
Mama said that I and I dissed the program
Not the type to mess around with her emotion
But the feeling that I have for you is so strong
Been together so long and this could never be wrong

Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby
Shorty, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need, lady

Uh, uh
Girl, in spite of my behavior, said I'm your savior
(You must be sent from up above)
And you appear to me so tender, say girl I surrender
(Thanks for giving me your love)

Girl, in spite of my behavior, well, you are my savior
(You must be sent from up above)
And you appear to me so tender, well, girl I surrender
(Said thanks for giving me your love)

Now life is one big party when you're still young
And who's gonna have your back when it's all done
It's all good when you're little, you have pure fun
Can't be a fool, son, what about the long run
Looking back Shorty always mention
Said me not giving her much attention
She was there through my incarceration
I wanna show the nation my appreciation

Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby
Shorty, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need, lady

Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby
Shorty, you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need, lady

_________________________________________________

::Need I say anything anymore::

When life is full of Shit

2007-11-01T19:02:00.000+08:00

Life in this world is not for long. Some die young, while some seems to live almost forever. Nonetheless, almost each one of us will come to a point in time where life seems biased. A time when everything you do is wrong. A time when everyone seems not to care. A time when you have all the job in the world to do, but not the time. Yea, that time.

I read a quote once, when life gives you shit, throw shit back at life. I never really understood what it meant. I thought it was one of those funny quotes people come out with, until the days that followed. I realised what it meant. The meaning's actually simple.

Do the opposite of what the shit in life has given you. If the shit in life has made you feel sad by making you fail your exams, throw shit back by working harder and learnt from your mistakes. If the shit in life has broken your relationship with the person you care the most, throw shit back by remaking the broken bonds, at your own initiative. If the shit in life has caused you to feel sick all the time, throw shit back by living healthy and become bubbly again, by keeping in mind that your time is limited. Which will be a better memory, living in a cold life feeling sick and regretting, or living a sick life, but nonetheless bubbly and smiling with the ones you love? Pick wisely.

All I'm trying to tell you here, please, do not let things bring you down to a level of distraught and despair. It's not worth it. And if you think that life sucks and give you nothing but pain, think again about what life has given you: A chance to live, A chance to love, A chance to learn, A chance to experience, A chance to forgive and forget.

::I'll be here when you need me::

Tell Your Friends

2007-10-24T20:47:00.000+08:00

OP dry run was ok.
I have to stop rapping.
It's making me lose my EE grade.

Anw, today was a blast.
Hanged out with S05-ers.
Kiku, Victor, Mao, Jeff, Hazim, Seles, Ming Lee, Ead, Xin Wei, Zolene, Melissa
And me,

Lunch. Truth or dare.
Then head on to playground.
Crocodile. Ice and Water.

Basically we re-lived childhood.
Walked back home with Ead, Kiku and Jeff.

::Now I'm Bored to Death::

Promise - Matchbook Romance

2007-10-19T00:09:00.000+08:00

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go,
Promise me...
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
Make this last forever

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

_______________________________________

Remember the promise we had?
I'm sorry I broke the promise.
Horrible. Simply Horrible.

I never wanted you to have that rocky life.
I didn't want you to go through my stupidity.

The guy who eats the last pie will live a life of guilt.
Or so they say.

I'm sorry I didn't do much.
Even now, I can't do much.

::2 years::

Results and Hair

2007-10-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

Biology ... C
Chemistry ... D
Maths ... B
Econs ... B
MT ... C
GP ... E

Not confirmed yet.
But from the looks of it, these are the overall grades.

I'm promoted.
Was kinda sure I won't.
So i told I'll shave if i do.

Now, I'm sitting here.
With a crew cut.

Just great.

::Behind the Scenes::

p.s Yes, I do look ugly.

Hari Raya And All That

2007-10-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

First and foremost,

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin to all out there.
I know I've hurt each and everyone of you out there,
Be it intentionally or otherwise.
So if you happen to read this, forgive me aite.

Secondly,

This raya isn't any different.
Usual places,
Usual convo,
Usual aunties and uncles saying I look different each year.

Kinda boring though.

Thirdly,

I'm still shit scared abt the promo results.
Moderation or not, chances are only 50%.
So I'll need lots of luck.

::Lots of Love to You::

Life with Boredom

2007-10-09T01:55:00.000+08:00

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

Why do people who don’t want to go to hell bury themselves 6 ft. closer?

Why do people, such as S.W.A.T or Seals wear the bulletproof vests where you can see them? Wouldn’t people aim for their head or crotch?

What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?

What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?

Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?

If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?

Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?

::Why do I feel this way?::

More and More Tests

2007-10-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - incorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

You May Be a Bit Antisocial...

Antisocial? That may be a bit of an understatement.
You think rules are meant to be broken - and with gusto!
Having no fear, you don't even think about consequences.
But people love you anyway... you've got a boatload of charm.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

You Are a Great Liar

You can pretty much pull anything over on anyone.
You are an expert liar, even if you don't lie very often.

Are You a Good Liar?

::More to Come::

Hooked On

2007-10-06T18:47:00.000+08:00

Promos are a gone case.
I'll have to shit my way out of this.

Anyways, kuku got me hooked to this.
Just Great.

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant.
People feel like they really don't know the true you...
Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force.

Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself.
It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose.
You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

You Are Straight

There's not much queer about you.
So let's just say you're straight... but not narrow.

What's Your Sexual Orientation?

That is for those who think I'm not.

::Monopoly My Ass::

Stress-Off

2007-10-04T09:50:00.000+08:00

You Are 72% Gentleman

You are definitely a gentleman. You're very considerate and you have excellent manners.
Occasionally, you slip and do something foolish... but usually no one notices!

Are You A Gentleman?

Zaim and Adi says this is true.... Hmm....

You Are 36% Emo

You're definitely not emo, but you do understand emo people a little. You are introspective, but not to the point of driving yourself crazy.

Are You Emo?

They disagree with this anyway. They feel that I'm 90++% emo.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

I guess I'm a medium kinda person.

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:

You value loyalty a fair amount.
You're loyal to your friends... to a point.
But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties.
Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.

Honesty:

You value honesty a fair amount.
You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it.
If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it.
In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity."

Generosity:

You value generosity a fair amount.
You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.
Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.
But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!

Humility:

You value humility a fair amount.
You tend to be an easy going, humble person.
But occasionally your ego takes over.
You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance highly.
Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...
You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.
You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

Once again, I'm the middle person. Except the last one.

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Great! Just Great~

You Are Balanced - Believer - Powerful

You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally.
You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go.
Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control.
Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow.

You are a true believer in luck, fate, and karma.
You believe that life is a game of chance - not a game of skill.
You either consider yourself very unlucky or very lucky.
No matter what, you don't feel like you can change the hand you were dealt.

When it comes to who's in charge, it's you.
Life is a kingdom, and you're the grand ruler.
You don't care much about what others think.
But they better care what you think!

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

::Lucky Me Then::

Promos

2007-10-03T17:34:00.000+08:00

2 weeks.
The horror.

Bio.
Econs.
Chem.
Maths.

::I'm Doomed::

50 First Dates

2007-10-01T01:35:00.000+08:00

It would be great if I could see you each day.
And each day, I'll live to fall in love,
Over, and over, and over again.

You see,
That way, if I screw up the day,
you won't remember it the next.

If some way or another,
I were to hurt you so badly,
You'll cry before you sleep,
And wake up cheerful again.

If some way or another,
You were to hurt me so badly,
At least you wouldn't feel guilt the next day.

And each day, we'll experience our first kiss,
knowing every sin is forgotten each time the sun rises.

And each time I close my eyes,
I'm content. For I love you for your perfections,

::And your Imperfections::

Thunder (Acoustic) - Boys Like Girls

2007-09-29T00:57:00.000+08:00

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know (I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder, and I said
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

::A Feeling Inside::

Lost Without Words

2007-09-29T00:36:00.000+08:00

Ok. I'm lost.

In my world of studies.
In my world of friends.
In my world of relationships.

What the f... would be appropriate now.
But what the heck.

Promos will be held this two weeks.
GP down, Bio, Maths, Chem and Econs to go.
Next is PW's WR final draft.
After that, MT anchor test.
Followed by MT A's.
Then PW's OP.

Poly would have been great.

::I guess I'm lost::

I'm sorry if the trust I've given you is not enough.
Coz frankly, you've got more than others.
I even covered your ass from the rest.
The least you could do was stop.
It doesn't help one bit.

And yea, I know it may sound "fantasizing".
But as one puts it, "The walls have ears, the windows have eyes"
And I have a brain.

I know about the transactions going on.
I just cannot be bothered to do something.
If you're a true friend, face me and tell me.

But if you can't seem to locate me,

::I guess I'm lost::

Yes, No, Maybe.
It's all so vague.
Part seems fantasy. Part seems reality.
Part seems impossible. Part seems confident.

With all the pressures that is upon me,
my mind seems like a never ending maze.

::I guess I'm lost::

Ouh ya,
Btw, thx Eadd for the post! Haha.
I didn't mention this before,
but she's also track vice-chair!
Her SGC will be freaking good.

::Congrats to you then::

This And All That Too

2007-09-22T02:12:00.000+08:00

Ok... Eadelin, I'll do this one more time.

Ok peeps. The one on the extreme left.

That is Eadelin.
She may look 10, or 7, but she's 17 years old.

YES, people. Unbelievable.
But when you meet her... WOW.
You'll die thinking, "How the heck can she be 17??"

No offence Ead =)

She's the class chairperson.
A student councillor.
A tracker.

And a loudhailer (oops).

She's blur at times....

And she's very rough,

And somehow she LOVES TO TAKE PHOTOS.

But nonetheless, she's still a friend.

It's ok to feel stress at times.
With the amount of commitments you have,
It'll be amazing if you can excel in all.
And I know you can.

Whatever happens, your friends will be there for you.

::Well, I know I will::

This and All That

2007-09-22T02:00:00.000+08:00

The week's been tiring.
With constant sleeping and all,
Class is getting boring.

My fault for going to a JC anyways.
But what is bitter to endure, is sweet to remember...

Yea. I guess it is.

Ouh and LT, I can't get the quiz up here. Sorry.

::I guess this is this::

Life Number 5

2007-09-17T23:47:00.000+08:00

So I took this life number test online,
Check it out whether it's real for me aite.

Your purpose in life is to live freely and collect experiences.

You love life - new adventures, new people, new ideas.

You are very curious, and you crave novelty in all forms.

You tend to make friends easily, and you enjoy the company of all types of people.

In love, you are fun and even a bit intoxicating. But you won't stick around for long.

You are impulsive and spontaneous - which sometimes leads you to do things you regret.

Sometimes you can be overindulgent with food, sex, or drugs.

You have many talents, so many that you are often scattered and unfocused.

::Only If Life Was That Simple::

Anger Management Again

2007-09-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

I don't know what your real intentions are, but it's killing me.

Don't act as if you can get away with things. You can't.

Nothing's coming in, but everthing's coming out.

Huh? Friends? What friends? Better yet... What are friends?

Don't tell me I'm wrong just to prove that I'm right.

Now I'm stuck again.

::Just great::

Friends and More

2007-09-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

Friends. Funny people.
They are often portrayed as hope.
People who give faith. Encouragement.
People who understands. Stand by each other.
And all those crap things regarding trust.

But ever so often you see backstabbing.
Bad-mouthing. Jealousy. Hypocrisy.
And you always think, I don't do those.
Wrong. You do. It's a human thing I guess.

Maybe friends ARE like goods.
They possess pros and cons.
But are pros being outweigh by cons?

I don't mind not having friends.
breaking down alone,
being back stabbed.
being looked down,
being an object of hate.

::Coz you don't deserve my trust::

_______________________________________

Well, didn't study much during the hols.
Spent most of my time lepaking and enjoying.

Monday: Had bio spa. No comments. Went to eat and went out with Nash, Zim and Adi.

Tuesday: Band prac. Was a blast. Laughed till I almost crap in my pants.

Wednesday: First day of SFA course. It was fun ah. And gruesome pics.

Thursday: Woke up late for SFA. The course was getting better with practicals. Went to airport and hang-out.

Friday: Last day of SFA. Did a lot of revision. Passed the test. Hang out with Im, Adi and ahMad at town, then Pasir Ris park. Kinda stress-relieving.

Saturday: Went to airport to study. End up playing and eating sushi.

And today I spent the whole day doing nothing. And I even buih for our night sushi. Great.

::Exam Pressure Setting In::

_______________________________________

I did the un-imaginable and wasted your life.
Now I won't let you waste your life again.

::I'll rectify and make sure::

A Lonely September - Plain White T's

2007-09-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

______________________________________

It's not the same here without you around.
Everything seems quiet. Seems lost.
The gifts you gave me, I kept it wrapped.
They made sure I'll always think of you.

One day, when we meet, I'll bring them.
Then we can sit down by that small tree,
And we'll unwrap them, one by one.
And those memories will flow back.

::Till then, it's a lonely september::

Weekends

2007-09-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

Friday was great.
Missed school. Went to PRSS.
Met old frens, old teachers, and performances.
They were BORING. Some like AC's were good.
The rest were umm.... silent.

Went out after that.
Skipping all details, ended up at Tock Seng.
Ate wanton noodles. Not bad.
But I think it gave me stomachaches afterwards.

Then hang out at esplanade.
Had lots of laughs. With the guy's jokes.
The acoustic performances were good too.
All and all, it was worth the not studying.

Saturday was fun as well.
Wanted to study, didn't.
Ended up soccer.
Pretty... "dramatic" ah.
But it ended well.

Went to eat at Changi with Ahmad, Im and Imran.
So full. Then took a stroll till the beach.
And hang out. Watching planes. Listening songs.
Went home and slept like a pig. Ouhwell.

Sunday was fantastic. Today was fantastic.
Woke up early to go to People's Association.
President's Challenge.
Me, Im, Adi and my uncle took part in T-shirt making.
We made quite a messy piece. Full of blotches.
Some creativity, but overall, a funny piece.

And guess what, WE WON.
$300 of voucher. Split to 4.
Another family friend of ours won second.
Tanjong Pagar grabbed the top prizes. We rock.

My uncle treat us at Siam Kitchen afterwards.
Ate so much, all of us wanted to hurl.
Adi hurled actually. That was how full we were.
Went home. Played comp games.
So, no studying today. And tmr's bio's SPA.
I'm dead.

::Blogging is Wierd::

Blinded

2007-08-26T22:21:00.000+08:00

Talked to catwoman about unluckiness.
Who knew today my luck would be good.

Played this soccer game with my bro.
All together, he scored over 5 own goals.
Talk about luck.

But I still cannot find my respiration notes.
I'm dead. Just revised a bit on respiration.
And a bit on the rest. 5%. Is it worth giving up for?

Had Pizza for dinner. Pizza Hut's cheesy thing, not nice.
And dun ever buy the supreme black pepper chicken.
Taste like.... shit.

::Yes, I'm blinded::

Maybe - Secondhand Serenade

2007-08-23T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm freaking tired. Bloody tired.
Guess that's JC life for me.
At this point of time, poly sounds nice.

Anyways, as requested by Eadelin,
there will be no lyrics posted for the song.
And yes Eadelin, it has a meaning.

If you are wondering who Eadelin is,
She's this short, umm... I mean small girl in my class.
You'll be surprised how loud she can be.
With that rock voice.

And Eadelin, that's a compliment okay?
I would love to post up a photo... But circumstances.......

Anyways, Catwoman, if you are reading this,
It's nearing September. Which means 2 things.

1) Start studying!
2) I still havn't met her.

Anyways, I somehow cannot wait for tomorrow.
Haha. I don't really know why.

::Maybe it's just me::

3 Moving Words

2007-08-19T15:47:00.000+08:00

If all fails, fret not, coz I'll be here. It's not too far, nor too close. Just... there. I wouldn't want to butt in, or not care. But is it enough? To just stand here and watch. Helplessly. I wish there's more that I could do for you. But you see, I'm a born loser. I'll have to accept that. But I'll change. I'll work hard. And I want you to promise me. You'll do it too. No, I won't let you fall. Never. There will be times where we both would despise each other. When that happens, we'll stop and talk things out aite? I know it was perfect. It's wonderful. I'd love to meet, and give it my words of thanks. Coz it made u special. Very special. Something I can't do so well, coz you see, I don't have that advantage. So, I hope you'll give me a chance. I'll love you and make all our dreams come true.

::I'm sorry::

Moments

2007-08-15T21:51:00.000+08:00

Hey,

I know I can't make things right. It's hard for me to learn what someone had done, and live up to the legacy. Especially what he had done. It's near impossible for me.
Coz' there are things in my life that I've done and I'm not proud of, and it had all pulled me down. Do you know that each night, when I'm having a moment, I'll be wondering about this?

It has been hard for you. Having skills beyond your control, and they all seem to kill you slowly inside. The safe haven you used to have is no longer there, and you've been telling yourself that you do not need one. Guess what? You do need one. Badly. You cannot just live life the same way after what happened in the haven. That's the reason why everything seems to be falling apart now.

It has fall apart for me when I woke up from a nightmare I created. I can't believe I used to plot things that way. I guess God has punished me accordingly and gave me a broken hope to live on as well. Just to experience what I put them through. But being all so forgiving, God has also gave me another chance to make up for the mistakes. After seeing you, I don't know whether I'm in for the mission of objectives, or mission of the heart. That, I'll determine on my own.

Nonetheless, I'll need you to live life simple from now on. Till I make up my mind on what I should pursue. It'll determine whether we'll succeed, or we'll fail.

::Afterall, I'm just HUMAN::

Backstage Crew

2007-08-12T09:51:00.000+08:00

2 days of fun. Yea. Fun.

As how the rest put it,
meeting girls and crapping with them,
free food and getting seconds,
slack job,in between scenes
crap time by playing the name game...

How can it not be fun.

I think we took the most pics there.
Even though we didn't get the grp photo.

Ouhwell.

I'll need Zaim to send me the pics.
With the props, with the guys.
I'll try upload it soon too.

I bet if there's anymore crew job,
The "boys" would confirm grab again.
How can we not??

We'll be Sri Anggerek's unofficial crew.
Haha. Cool.

::Tragedi Temasek::

National Day Celebs & TPSC Handover

2007-08-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

Today was the MOST BORING day ever.
Wore red and jeans. Go school.
Do GP. 2 periods. Then games.

Like small child SIA.
With the cheering and stuff.
Eeee....

So I skipped the last part.
Which is sing-a-long.
Went to the range.
Prepared for handover.

Even though got a lil frustration,
It all went smoothly.
The food was on time.
The events went smoothly.

I'll post pics soon.

AND I GOT THE TROPHIES.

::Finally::

A Great Friday, A Dull Saturday

2007-08-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

Today is freaking boring.
Class in the morning,
Lunch in the afternoon.

Thought of going baybeats.
Too tired. Slept. And woke up.

Just great.

Anyways, yesterday was one hell of a day.
Went to baybeats.
With syam, zaim, khabir, mat, yas, adi, zai and farah.

Stentorian was not bad. Their vocalist has a nice voice.
Caracal was a bomb! Mosh-ed like there's no tomorrow.
Azmyl Yunor's Makan Gaji song has funny lyrics. Laughed.
Plainsunset's performance was the best.
Their song were nice. The crowd was good.

Bodysurfing. Moshing. Screaming. Jumping.
It's like anger-venting session.
Overall, it was worth the sweating.

::Hope tomorrow's better::

Games

2007-08-03T00:55:00.000+08:00

since nad asks me to do it, well... here goes.

each player starts off by naming ten habits about oneself. In the end tag six friends and they'll have to do the same too.

1. I like to hug my bag during classes.
2. I eat around 5 meals a day.
3. I daydream for no apparent reason.
4. whatever drink i drink at home, it has to contain ice.
5. I love to think about stuff before i sleep each night.
6. I love to look at how people react to certain situations.
7. I lie and then i tell the truth shortly after.
8. I will ALWAYS fall asleep at 2.30 am (if i'm on my bed), no matter how hard i try to stay awake.
9. When I listen to songs, it's lyrics first. Then music.
10. I walk to school and walk back home almost everyday (One end of simei to TPJC). Just a habit.

I am tagging

1) Syash, gullible should be one habit. GO DO!
2) Isya, just for fun aite. Haha. Good luck.
3) Dheelah, i know you are reading this.
4) Liang Ting, coz i want people to know ur habits.
5) Hazim, YOU ARE READING THIS. I don't care how, go post it somewhere in friendster of something. Unless u got a secret blog.
6) Sree. I somehow feel that you'll be doing this. Enjoy!

::Good Night and Good Luck::

Something To Make Your Day

2007-07-31T21:11:00.000+08:00

If you are feeling down,
I hope these vids and jokes will crack you up.

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor!

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

The child sure had a great plan.

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. Here is a true story:

Lena was hired at the factory and she reported for her 1st day promptly at 8:00 a.m. The following day, at 8:45, there was a knock at the personnel manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line threw open the door and began to rant about his new employee, Lena. He complained that she was incredibly slow and that the entire production line was behind schedule and backing up!

The personnel manager decided he should see this for himself, so the two men marched down to the factory floor. When they got there, the line was so backed up, there were Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they were really beginning to pile up at the end of the line stood Lena, surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos.

She had a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watched in amazement as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around two marbles and began carefully to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The personnel manager stared for a few seconds, saw what was happening, and burst into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics, he pulled himself together and approached Lena. "I'm sorry," he said to her. Barely able to keep a straight face, he said, "I think you misunderstood the instructions given you yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles ..."

A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop 500 dollars on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I can have my way with you from behind!"

The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called her girlfriend on her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition.

Her girlfriend said, "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you can pick it up and run before he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell me what happened."

An hour and a half later the lady called her girlfriend back. "What happened?" the girlfriend asked.

The lady said, "That son-of-a-bitch had $500 in quarters!"

::Laughter is the BEST Medicine::

The Truth I Guess

2007-07-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

I got this from a friendster bulletin.
Enjoy aite.

You might agree with
it, but when it actually happens 96%
of girls don't realize it 'til it is
too late and that guy who did it is so
frustrated that he has moved on to
someone who will take notice.

From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other
guys.

We don't care if you're friends with
other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and
some random guy walks into the room and
you jump up and tackle him, without
even introducing us, yeah, it pisses
us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and
talk to him for ten minutes without
even acknowledging the fact that we're
still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but
at 2 in the morning we do get a little
concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.
that it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/
beautiful/ gorgeous/cute/stunning, we
freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

One of the sexiest thing about a girl
is her confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door
open.
Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.

let us pay for you! don't "feel bad"
about it

We enjoy doing it. It's expected.

Smile and say "thank you."

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's
looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for
us.

If we're going out with you in the
first place, you don't have to feel
the need to wear the shortest skirt
you have or put on every kind of
makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not
what you are.

honestly, i think a girl looks more
beautiful when she's just herself, not
all
dolled up

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the
beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your
bible.

Don't talk about how hot Morris
Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney
is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care. You
have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word
"handsome"/"beautiful"

Girls, I cannot stress this enough:if
you aren't being treated right by a
guy, don't wait for him to
change.ditch him.
sorry,,disgrace to the male population
find someone who will treat you
with utter respect.And first dates wont
be the best.It takes time to get
comfortable with that certain
girl.So,girls give us some time.

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when
you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when
you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter
how bad you make them feel, or what
you do.

Someone who will stop what they're doing
just to look you in the eyes....and say
"i love you" ..and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance

::Give Me A Chance::

Hate But Reunion

2007-07-29T00:56:00.000+08:00

Each night I lie awake,
Just to hear your voice.
Each time I close my eyes,
You left me with a choice.

Would things be the same,
If I left you, far away and now,
Would it be okay,
If I left you, forever.

And I'll be your light throughout the night.
I'll fight with you against all your fright.
I'll make sure everything's alright.
As long as things don't get all so tight.

I'll be your light throughout the night,
I'll fight with you against all your fright.
And I promise everything's alright,
As long as you will be by my side.

Only time can now tell us,
How long this all can last.
But each night I pray out loud,
That this won't be a past.

Would things be the same,
If I left you, far away and now,
Would it be okay,
If I left you, forever.

And I'll be your light throughout the night.
I'll fight with you against all your fright.
I'll make sure everything's alright.
As long as things don't get all so tight.

I'll be your light throughout the night,
I'll fight with you against all your fright.
And I promise everything's alright,
As long as you will be by my side.

I'll be that light you see each night...
I'll make there will be no more fright.
This time I'll make things all so right...
And I'll make it forever...

I'll be your light throughout the night.
I'll fight with you against all your fright.
I'll make sure everything's alright.
As long as things don't get all so tight.

I'll be your light throughout the night,
Promise me you'll never go.
I'll make sure everything's alright.
I promise you it's not a show.

This time I'll try to make it worth the while,
Promise me you'll always smile.
And when I'm home it'll all be fine,
As long as you're by my side...

::Promises of A Loved One::

Cool-ness

2007-07-28T14:28:00.000+08:00

Hafiz --

[adjective]:

Sexually stunning

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Are you a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
	You are a great lover. This will get you into many wonderful relationships. You know how to treat your partner. You are skilled in love and it might be helpful to teach others.

'Are you a good boyfriend/girlfriend?' at QuizGalaxy.com

You have a sexual hidden talent

You have a sexual hidden talent. You might not look it but you are a dynamo in bed. Most of your lovers think that it is from years of practice, but really, you were just born with it.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

I don't see donkeys and/or metal heart anywhere IN THESE TESTS.

::PERSONALITY TESTS ARE FRAUD::

I Hate Shit

2007-07-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

Seen the moon lately?
Its fuzzy and fading out.

So is my mind.
What's right and wrong seems to fade.
I'm becoming who I hate.
Cool.

I guess I've said too much sorries.
It'll probably mean nothing to you.
But each one I said, was true to heart.
I can't forgive myself for hurting.

::Congratulations::

Leadership Training Camp

2007-07-22T21:57:00.000+08:00

BOOM!

LTC was great.
Group 6, Impact, sure made a long way.
From people who just keep quiet,
To friends who cheer while washing toilet.

Learnt a lot back there.
Made me think about IT.
Is it what I want? Or what Others want?

It was wonderful,
From coming in late,
Making new friends (despite my hatred),
making goals and vision (BREAK THE LIMIT),
facing hard reality from ranking session
Playing cards late at first night.

Waking up early the next day,
eating yucky bee hoon,
growing muscles from tug of war,
breaking limits at element competitions,
norming dinner with CRAPPY personality tests,
till talking late at night from just about anything.

Waking up later the last day,
had a lot of fun playing silent web,
DANCED OUR SHIT OFF (DAMN I CANT DANCE),
enjoying our last reflections.

And going home.

*What team?!
`Impact!
*What team?!
`Impact!

*Impact!

::BREAK THE LIMIT::

Bless You

2007-07-17T00:12:00.001+08:00

Yes. You have my blessings.

::Don't talk to me::

Praying Silently

2007-07-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

You never realised did you.
Me standing there, uttering in the mist.
Praying silently that luck befalls on you.
It seems to me that it's been going well.

I don't wish to be recognised.
I prefer the backdrop actually.
Coz' it's where I feel most comfortable.

I love the way you smile when things happen.
I love the way you ramble on about everything.
I love to just listen and look at you in the eyes.

And tell you,
From the core of my soul,

::You're my Valentine::

Thinking Questions In My Head

2007-07-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Mummy's boy?

Why do cars have speed up to 150kmph, when they are allowed to only drive up to 90?

How can we believe love at first sight if love is blind?

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

Why are people IN a movie, but they're ON tv?

If a Priest goes to the toilet, is it holy crap?

If someone says it a 50% chance, would it mean they do not know what they answer will be?

Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?

How come you can sing while plugging your nose, but cannot hum while doing so?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator when they know there's no food?

Why do people point to their wrist to ask for time, but don't point to their crotch to ask for the toilet?

If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?

Why is it that when adults have imaginary friends, they're sent to mental hospital, but when a child has an imaginary friend, its cute?

::Life's Mysteries::

Tests and Tests

2007-07-14T17:41:00.000+08:00

-First Test-Personality Test-

Results: Extroversion 41%

You scored somewhere in the middle between introversion and extroversion, which means that you draw characteristics from both ends of the spectrum. Sometimes, you need time to yourself, preferring to think things through on your own. Other times, you enjoy interacting with others. Overall, you are likely a fairly outgoing person who occasionally opts for solitude. You likely need a balance of alone time and time with others in your life because you can become a little overwhelmed if you ignore the introverted side of yourself.

-Second Test-Intelligence Type Test-

Your main intelligence type: Intrapersonal

Intrapersonal intelligence is the capacity to detect and discern among one's own feelings (self-knowledge) and the ability to use that knowledge for personal understanding. Individuals with this kind of intelligence are able to construct an accurate perception of themselves and use such knowledge in planning and directing their life.

-Third Test-Depression Test-

Results: Worry about Judgment of Others

When you experience a setback or problem in your life, one of the first things on your mind is what other people will think. You may believe that others take pleasure in your problems, that they feel sorry for you, or that they are otherwise judgmental of you. Unfortunately, this attitude can lead you to feel worse about your problems than you need to. It also means that you may be less likely to seek comfort from others when you are in emotional pain.

::I Failed Again::

Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

2007-07-11T00:37:00.001+08:00

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

::I love you truly::

Call It Ego

2007-07-10T23:29:00.000+08:00

I just can't stand to lose.
I can't. Especially now.
I've gone to far out to fail.
It's precisely because I've given my best.
It doesn't matter whether others were good.
I should have been able to know their weaknesses.
I should have worked triply hard just to kick ass.

I'm such a loser.

__________________________________

My grades sucks.

"U" for Chemistry.
"S" for Biology.
"D" for Maths.
"E" for Econs.
"C" for MT.

Do not know GP yet. But I heard it sucked too.
And *compulsory* PTM (Parent-Teacher Meet) is on 28.
I haven't exactly been an angel.

::I'm a double loser::

miracles4lyf

Hedley - Perfect

Close your eyes.

Dengar Bisikku - The Rain

A Thousand Useless Letters

Fate's Cruel Trick

Autumn's Monologue - Autumn to Ashes

Buried Confession

IQ

I Can Wait Forever - Simple Plan

Now Let's Compare

Grow Old With You

Silver Lining

2 worlds apart

Blind - Lifehouse

If I Fall - Amber Pacific

Stuck in My Head

Endless Rain - X Japan

Now the heat is off....

I Told You So

Summer of '69 - Bowling For Soup

Forgive me if This hurts.

Melt and Smile, then Break.

Trustworthy - Trust Worth Not

An excerpt

What do we have here?

Rules of the Game

Let's keep things in Check

Jemais Vu

Translate This For Me

Jerk off... F-Face

She Left Me - McFly

Love is an expression of lies and illusion

Tough Love

To All those who suffered in Silence

Fuck Exams

Coming Too Close - No Use For A Name

Stranger Than Fiction

HeadButt Reunion

In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge

Monday's Blues

Damn Regret (Sincere, Not Emo)

A Typical Fairytale

I wish I could

Trail of Broken Hearts - Dragonforce

Life's Funny That Way

The Rose - LeAnn Rimes (Bette Midler Cover)

New Year

The Boy Who Couldn't Cry

Lucky 13

Behind The Scenes - Headbutt Reunion

Decisions

Gilmore Girls

A Week

Day Out

Almost - Bowling For Soup

Forgive Me

Results of yourSchizophrenia Screening Quiz

Results of yourHow Do Others Perceive You? Quiz

The Lively Center of Attention

Whatever Happens

Why?

Love Life Live

Angel - Shaggy Feat. Rayvon

When life is full of Shit

Tell Your Friends

Promise - Matchbook Romance

Results and Hair

Hari Raya And All That

Life with Boredom

More and More Tests

Hooked On

Stress-Off

Promos

50 First Dates

Thunder (Acoustic) - Boys Like Girls

Lost Without Words

This And All That Too

This and All That

Life Number 5

Results of your
Schizophrenia Screening Quiz

Results of your
How Do Others Perceive You? Quiz